How To Turn a First Date Into Many More

We all know what first dates feel like – sitting across the table from someone who you think is close to perfect.

Smiling from ear to ear, you sip wine and barely eat as you gaze into his or her beautiful eyes, unable to believe that after countless awful dates, you actually met someone who stopped your world.

Sadly, not everybody gets too many of those, as lots of first dates end in disappointment, irritation, and nightmare stories you end up sharing with your friends. So, how can you turn a first date into many, many more?

Erika Kybartas, a matchmaker for It’s Just Lunch in Chicago, came up with seven tips that can help improve your chances:

1. Dress to impress: “Before you leave the house for any date, look in the mirror and say, ‘Would I want to date me?'” said Kybartas, who has been in the business for 14 years, estimating she has set up thousands of couples during that time, hundreds which have resulted in long-term relationships. According to Kybartas, dress code for a dinner date is jeans, a nice top and heels, or a dress if you prefer. For men, she recommends business casual: jeans, a nice pair of shoes, a button down and sport coat. If coming to the date straight from work, a suit is acceptable. “Look like you put some effort into your outfit,” Kybartas said.

2. Choose the right venue: Keep first dates casual and short in length. Drinks and appetizers, or lunch are great options. Wait for a second or third date to do something more active or that will result in spending a longer amount of time together. Great second or third dates include tennis, a museum, or a paint and sip studio.

3. Be open-minded: “You can’t change a bad personality, but you can always change a bad T-shirt or an unlikable mustache,” Kybartas said. In other words, if you’re a little bit unsure, keep talking! Keep asking questions and getting to know the person. You might just fall in love, and can then talk to him or her about superficial changes later.

4. Talk is important: Good topics for a first date: common interests and lighthearted subjects that make you both laugh. Bad topics: money, finances, religion, politics and past relationships. Also, if you start talking negatively about your ex, or call him or her a name, we can guarantee you will never hear from your date again. Ever.

5. Watch alcohol intake: Kybartas warns, “Stay away from shots!” She also suggests 1-2 drinks max for a first date, so that you keep a clear head and you can really get to know the person. Additionally, excessive drinking leads to poor judgment, inappropriate conversation and bad behaviour. It can also lead to lack of self-control, and we all know what that could mean. Great segue into No. 6.

6. Keep sex off the table: Kybartas agrees that waiting a few dates to get physical is wise. It isn’t always easy to refrain from sex if there is an intense attraction, but building that emotional connection will make what happens in the bedroom even better when it finally happens.

7. Women: offer to pay, men: Please Pay! “For a woman, offering to pay is a nice thing to do,” said Kybartas. “It makes you look humble and appreciative.” As far as a guy paying, it is traditional and chivalrous. It makes a guy a gentleman. In other words, when he says, “Check, please,” hopefully, he means it.